My Testimony

I was raised in a Christian home by godly parents who only wanted to see their daughter serve Jesus. I went to a Christian school from kindergarten through my junior year of High School. Throughout High school I was always striving to please others (and not in a good way). I had no idea who I was. I claimed to be a Christian because I went to church and read the Bible, but I had no hunger for righteousness. I wanted to know God but at the same time be like the world. I confessed Jesus as my Lord and Savior, but by my actions I denied Him. I called myself a Christian but there was no evidence of Christ in my life. God's wrath remained on me, I was dead in sin and walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air. I said I loved Jesus, but I also loved sin. I read my Bible out of obligation and habit not because I treasured God's Word more than my necessary food. My senior year of High School I attended a public school for the first time. I was shocked to see how open people were with sin and how so many people were far from God. I wanted to see myself as better than others so I began telling people I was a "Christian". "I am a Christian" I would respond to others when they would ask me why I didn't use foul language. The reason why I didn't cuss was NOT because I was a "Christian" but because I wanted to be better than "these people". I appeared to be righteous, but my heart was far from God. I was a hypocrite. I confessed with my mouth that Jesus was my Lord and Savior, but He was not Lord over my actions, thoughts, will, desires, ambitions, the things I read or watched. Looking back it amazes me how blinded I was, how I justified my actions by saying "I go to youth group" or "I went to Christian school".

I graduated from High School and had no desire to attend college. My parents were evangelists and encouraged me to attend a short time evangelism school out of state. I did not want to go strait to college and figured "why not?". I helped out my parents at a couple outreaches, passed out some tracts and gave out water and figured I knew all there was to know about evangelism. I would be staying with a church family who offered to open up their home to several other students and myself. I wasn't aware that they had six kids and only one bathroom. There would be ten other people not including myself using one bathroom, as an only child this was quite a shock to me. They were simple people with simple lives, I was spoiled and materialistic. I can honestly say I cried that first night, thinking "what did I get myself into". I soon found myself surrounded by "Jesus Freaks". I called my mom and told her that "these people" only wanted to talk about Jesus all the time, and I had nothing in common with them. But, since I traveled 1000 miles I figured I would stay.

I was challenged spiritually, culturally, and intellectually. The school challenged me to ask myself, "why do I believe, what I believe?" As I watched and listened to my new friends, I compared my spiritual life to theirs. Eventually the Spirit of God convicted me of my sin and hypocrisy, I cried out to Jesus to save me and promised I would live for him forever.